4. Eric Hates Twitter

Do you remember a time when people weren't interested in every single thought that came out of your head? Or when no one really cared what you were doing every moment of the day?

I do. It's now.

Twitter is by far the most annoying creation by the internet so far. I'll admit, it has practical uses, but for the most part it's filled with self-important jerks that feel an urgent need to tell me what they're doing and how they feel about it at every single dull and routine moment of their lives.

"Going to mall with @stacyjones and @billweaver. Might hit up the Orange Julius. Commerce+sugary beverages=mall goodness"

There is one person in the world that cares about this post. The person that wrote it. Their own mother would look at that and say, "I don't know what that means." Then, after someone explained it to her, she'd say, "why the F would I care if you're going to the mall? I don't need to know that."

Twitter, Facebook status updates and the like are ruining conversation. How many times has this happened to you while talking to a friend?:

You: I (insert achievement) last week.
Friend: I know, I saw it on Facebook.
You: I have nothing else to talk about.

Social networking has already claimed one victim - the high school reunion. My high school had their 10 year reunion this year. Of a class of 350 graduates, 30 people showed up. Why? The only reason anyone goes to these things is out of sheer curiosity, all of which is satisfied once you become friends on Facebook - you find out that every else's life is just as uninteresting as yours. Of course, that's not going to stop you from keeping the world up to date on your mediocrity.

3. Eric Hates His Co-Workers

They're idiots. One is borderline retarded. I'm surprised she is able to find her way to work every day.

It never used to be like this. I used to work with good people that cared about the job they did. The ones that work here now just do the bare minimum to get by, screw that up, and wait for me to clean up their mess.

Not to mention that whenever I do have to correct / re-teach them something, they...ohhhhh. Sorry, I wasn't listening. What's on TMZ?

2. Eric Hates Roger Moore

The film critic for the Orlando Sentinel, not the real Roger Moore, the one who played James Bond. This hack gave my film 2 stars out of 5. Normally, I can take criticism with only a small to moderate amount amount of self-pity, but his assessment was based on the fact that he figured out the ending of the movie in "seven minutes."

If this is his sole criteria when reviewing movies, then I Love You, Man must have completely stymied him based on the four stars he gave it. I can only imagine him in the theater, scratching his head at the ending: "Everything worked itself out? Didn't see that one coming. FOUR STARS!"

On top of his short-sightedness, Moore has a notorious history of getting into internet flame wars, which I can only presume is for his own self-promotion. Why else would he call Kevin Smith fat? What does that have to do with him as a filmmaker? Orson Welles wasn't a small man; that doesn't make Lady From Shanghai any less genius. Not that Moore was drawing a direct correlation between stature and talent, but he's a pretentious, jealous ass, so I don't care.

Here are some recent gems:

"Nicole Kidman has deigned to come down from the mountain and place herself at the disposal of Mr. Woody Allen"

"He's got the Oscars and the money in the bank. but it has been a while since Tom Hanks was in a real blockbuster. So why not Major Matt Mason, a film produced around him and his Playtone Pictures, to star himself? It's based on a Mattel toy. What, was Tom miffed he wasn't offered the lead in He-Man and Masters of the Universe?"

Look, obviously I'm all for using the internet to send your ill-informed, self-important message to the world, but this type of near-slander is usually reserved for Perez Hilton, not someone who is supposed to be an impartial observer. Not to mention that every bit of movie news on his blog is stolen from other sites without any credit.

I hate this guy. Mostly for personal reasons, but that doesn't mean he can't still be a giant douche.

1. Eric Hates Everything

This is a blog for me to list the things I hate. Why? I get bored at work. And I don't like a lot of things. Here I will tear down the mundane, overrated and otherwise idiotic aspects of life. In short, everything.